Wait... This Isn't America...

England is pretty much the same as the United States.  After all, we speak the same language, what could possibly be so foreign?

Hahahaha… anyone who thinks this would be in for the shock of their lives if they tried to hang out in the UK for a few months. 

In all of its similarities it is easy for little things to jump out and catch you off guard.  I thought I’d share a few of my favorites.

Something Fishy about This Mall:  

Just a block away from our flat stands the first department store ever to be erected in England.  Naturally, the outside is adorned with sculptures and fancy pillars.  The inside, however, is much like the malls in the states.  There’s a cinema, restaurants, and retail stores.  You’re almost convinced it’s American until you take a good whiff on the ground level.  An overwhelming waft of fish is almost enough to knock you over.  There in the middle of the mall is a little fish market.  Fish heads stare up at you from behind glass and their scaly bodies are split open, freshly gutted.  Adjacent to that is a fruit smoothie stand. So if fish gets you craving smoothies it is a perfect setup.  There is also a slaughtering stand for pigs, chicken, and sheep.  The skinned bodies hang from hooks for everyone to walk by as they try to go to their favorite Tea Shop or the GAP.  No big deal, right?  Just a slight jolt to remind you that you’re in England.

Astounding Advertising:  

I’ve yet to see a billboard in England.  Seeing as large signs and lighted signs are not allowed in London, most advertising is done in the underground stations or in store windows.  But sometimes people get a little more creative.  Bubbles completely filled Leicester Square when this guy drove past us singing over the loudspeaker on his car. 

Buskers and Touts:  

Walking through areas like Covent Gardens it is common to see street performers.  Some completely paint their bodies to make themselves look like statues and then they stand perfectly still.  Of course they will suddenly find themselves able to move when someone tries to steal a picture without paying.  They will cover their faces or turn away.  We’ve seen fire jugglers, magicians, musicians, and even this weird guy done up as a dog.  He kind of creeped me out.  Watching can be really interesting, but the thing you have to watch for are the sneaky hands that will slip into your pockets or bags as you watch the performers.  If you don’t willingly tip, usually buskers find another, less honest way to earn their pay.

 School:

Every morning when I go out for my run I pass loads of school kids.  Some on are bikes, some take the tube, and the smaller ones are usually being dragged along by their nannies.  What really gets me are the little outfits they call uniforms.  Sometimes the girls have those straw hats with a ribbon dangling off of the back, and the boys have little wool knickers with high socks.  I wish I had some pictures to show you, but I would feel kind of weird stalking little kids and sneakily snapping photos of them.  Yeah, England really likes to keep its heritage alive. 

Service:

When going out to eat you will find that your waitress or waiter is kind of… rude. Gratuities are usually included in the bill, so apparently that leaves no reason to be polite.  Today Alex and I ate at a Chinese restaurant (which was legit Chinese, I have no idea what I was eating, and we didn’t have forks- only chopsticks) and our waitress seemed to find it extremely taxing to have to explain to us what was scribbled in Chinese on our menus.   Even refilling our cups was a horrible thing for us to ask her to do.  It’s like this at most places.  It has made me really appreciate customer service in the states.  

(The two pictures above were taken in China Town)

Facilitating the Public: 

Usually public “loos” have a fee.  You either insert coins and the door will open for your own private stall, or sometimes there is a person sitting behind glass who will take your money.  Can you believe having that job? 

“What do you do?”

“Oh, I collect pounds in front of public loos.”

I’m sure that looks just great on a résumé. 

Anyway, it is also common for public grassy areas to be covered with sleeping people.  Who needs to get a hostel, right?  This picture was taken in Trafalgar Square in front of the National Gallery.  Sweet dreams…